Featuring insights from Maurizio Rosini, founder of MyMasterMan.
Most professionals have been taught two things about anger: suppress it, or express it. Neither works, and neither helps you understand what the anger was about in the first place. For leaders that gap has a cost, because the way you handle anger shapes the culture around you.
The two traps
The first is the one most professionals know well: control everything, keep it contained, stay measured. In a boardroom that reads as composure. With a team it reads as distance, and over time it turns into resentment that goes underground. The person who never expresses anger does not become peaceful. They become harder to reach. The second trap is losing control and watching it damage something that mattered, a conversation that goes wrong, a reaction that overshoots. Both share one root: reacting to the feeling instead of understanding it.
Anger as data, not a problem
Here is the reframe worth sitting with. Anger is not the issue. Anger is information. It shows up to tell you something specific: a boundary was crossed, a value was not honoured, something that matters was treated as if it did not. The useful question is not “how do I get rid of this?” but “what is this pointing at?” Next time anger rises, before you respond or suppress, ask: what am I protecting right now? The answer is almost always more useful than any reaction the anger would have produced.
What boundaries actually are
“Boundary” has been overused to the point of losing meaning. A cleaner definition: a boundary is not a wall or a list of rules you hand other people. It is a clear understanding, in yourself, of what you will and will not accept, grounded in what matters to you. Most people who struggle with anger have unclear boundaries, not because they are passive, but because they have never had a framework for understanding their own values precisely enough to protect them. You cannot hold a line you have not drawn.
Why this matters for leadership
In organisations, anger management is usually treated as a communication skill: train the delivery, control the tone, keep the meeting productive. That has value, but it works only on the surface. A leader who understands what their anger is telling them can respond to the signal with precision rather than managing damage. Leaders who have not examined their anger patterns tend to create cultures shaped by those patterns: avoidance of difficult conversations, performance anxiety in teams, and the quiet unpredictability that erodes trust. Emotional intelligence at this level is not a soft skill. It is one of the primary predictors of team performance and retention in high-pressure environments.
“The people who handle anger well are not the ones who feel it less. They have learned to recognise what it is pointing at before they act. Anger is one of the most precise signals available to us. Most people never learn to read it.” — Maurizio Rosini, founder of MyMasterMan.
The practice
Neither suppression nor explosion. When anger arrives, pause, not to suppress it but to get curious. Name it without narrating it. Ask what it is protecting. Then decide, from that position, what an appropriate response looks like. That pause is not weakness. It is the most practical thing a leader can do in the moment.
Frequently asked questions
Is anger a problem for leaders?
Unexamined anger is. Anger itself is information about a crossed boundary or an unmet value. Read well, it sharpens decisions rather than damaging relationships.
How is this different from anger-management training?
Traditional training manages delivery and tone. This works on the internal signal, so the leader responds with precision instead of controlling damage after the fact.
Why does it affect team performance?
Leaders’ emotional patterns shape culture. Emotional intelligence at the top is a strong predictor of team performance and retention under pressure.
If you are developing emotional intelligence or leadership capability in your team, Growth Academy Asia can match you with vetted providers across Hong Kong and Asia.
